I have found in my own self-discovery journey to date that asking questions is the best way to gain insight and understanding. The more specific the question, the greater the insight and understanding. I like to think of questions having sub-questions as well and the more details I can obtain about any given subject, the greater my ability to not only understand the information, but apply the new knowledge to my life.
Here are 10 examples of great questions you can ask to gain more knowledge and understanding about yourself!
- What do I value? More specifically, what are some things that are super important in my life, that if they were taken from my life I would massively miss them?
- What do I believe? More specifically, what do I believe about the ideal lifestyle, the ideal career, etc. (Only you can insert these specific questions).
- What do I love? More specifically, what do I love to spend my time doing? What do I love to learn about? (This is not a “who do I love” question.)
- What do I desire? More specifically, if I could be granted three wishes, what would I ask for? If I could ask for these three things without anyone knowing that I asked for them, what would they be?
- What do I need? More specifically, what is something that I feel that I am really lacking that if I got would improve my life drastically?
- When do I feel most like myself? More specifically, do I feel more like myself when I am completely alone, when I am teaching or working with young children, when I am on stage? (Again, you’ll need to insert your specifications)
- If I could hire a personal assistant, what are 5 tasks that I would find most helpful for him, her or them to help me with? And part two of this question might be, how would a personal assistant radically change my ability to get to the next level in my career or life goals? (the answers to this question will hone lacking skills, your beliefs about those skills and your abilities and illuminate exactly what skills you need to rise to the next level!)
- If I could have a week off from all responsibilities and be guaranteed that whoever depends on me will receive equal or better care than I give, how would I spend the week? Would I travel, would I stay home and catch up on things, would I do nothing? (These answers will illuminate your needs!)
- If money was no object and I could wake up tomorrow and for the rest of my life and do whatever I wanted, what would I do? More specifically, what would my lifestyle look like? Who might I hire to help me with daily tasks? (maybe a landscaper or chef?) Would I work? What pursuits would I chase?
- If I had a conversation with my younger self, what are three things that she, he, they would ask me for? For example, would they ask me to grant them permission to pursue a passion? Would they ask me to nurture them more, pay attention to them more, listen to them more?
The journey to discovering ourselves is not like the journey to earning a college degree or certification or buying a home. There is not a one size fits all checklist that we can follow to arrive at the destination. The more questions we can ask ourselves and the more answers that we can acquire, the closer we come to the insight we need to create our own path to the destination. I can only speak about my personal experience on my self-discovery journey. I’ve listened to thousands of stories of others self-discovery journey and found that no two are the same. Some discover themselves on a boat in the middle of the ocean where they have to learn to rely on themselves, to build faith through daily experience and to find joy in simple things. Others discover themselves while pursuing their life dream. The one thing that every story has in common is that each of them longed for something they could not quite put their finger on, but that tugged at them, nudged at them, until they finally listened and began this invisible journey to self. (And nine out of ten times, they only realized they were on a self-discovery journey after they arrived!)
If you are on this journey, know that you are not alone. As you ask questions, answers will come. The answers may come in the form of another person sharing an idea or insight that makes you feel almost eerie when you consider how perfect the alignment of receiving the info is, they may come through resources like books or videos or movies, they may come while you are quiet and a thought or idea pops into your mind, they may come through a feeling or sensing–a knowing if you will, or they may come in some other way. The more sensitive we become to this process, the more answers we will notice coming. The more open we are to this process, the faster the answers will come.
When Answers Don’t Come
Sometimes, answers aren’t delivered right away. Sometimes answers come years later. What I have found is that when an answer does not come soon after I’ve asked a question, it is because there are other answers I need first. Sometimes, before I can comprehend one answer, I must first comprehend another. Then years later when an answer comes that I have entirely forgotten about, I understand why it came only then. As I am able to gauge my own developmental level and understanding, I can also understand the timing of answers. The greatest advice that I can offer is to always look back to gauge this process. When we can see the answers that have already come and how those answers have shaped us and helped us, we tend to have more faith than when we exclusively focus on what is happening right now. Right now is where we are. It’s not where we will be forever, it’s just what is right now. It is our job to learn the lessons in the now so that we can move closer to the destination we have set for ourselves. When we can look at our self-discovery journey in this way, we tend to have an easier time with things like patience, tolerance, and coping.
Breathe into the Journey
For years, I would hear people advising me to breathe. When I first started this journey, breathing seemed like the hardest thing to do. My nervous system was so charged that I could not even access this calming part of my body. That took time. At first my breathing was forced. I would engage it as simply an attempt to understand, but it never gave me any relief. But over time, as I gained insight and understanding, I found myself breathing naturally. And now, breathing is one of the best ways to regulate myself when I get overwhelmed. It’s what reminds me to get present and to let go of everything that is not present. So, ask your questions, be open to how the answers to those questions come and when you are ready, breathe into the journey. I promise you that you will get to your destination!
Much Love!
Self Discoverly 