Self-Discovery is the process of coming to holistically know yourself—mind, body, spirit—by first investigating your inner-world to become acclimated with all the parts that make up the whole that is you and second experimenting with various ideas, practices and beliefs until clarity of self emerges and you are able to think, feel and act for yourself without outside influence. In essence, self-discovery is the journey to becoming your most authentic self.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO HOLISTICALLY KNOW YOURSELF?
We are not one-dimensional beings. We are multi-dimensional, so holistically knowing yourself is becoming conscious of all of your dimensions and then gaining personal power over them. When we are conscious of all the parts that make up who we are, we are able to make conscious decisions, practice mindfulness and chart a life for ourselves of our choosing. When we are unconscious of all the parts that make up who we are, we are easily influenced, swing between moods and are less fulfilled and satisfied with our lives, mostly because we are ruled by obligation, duty, responsibilities, fear, guilt and shame! When we are unconscious, we tend to struggle more, suffer more and engage in a slew of behaviors that in no way serve us.
HOW DO YOU INVESTIGATE YOUR INNER-WORLD?
First we must gain critical knowledge on the basics of self-discovery and understand things like beliefs, addictions, façade, behaviors, fears, influence, etc. One of the best ways to gain knowledge is to ask questions. The more questions we ask, the more information we will acquire. Some questions to get you started with this:
- What do I believe about the belief system that I was raised with? Are there any things that I feel differently about? Why do I feel differently about them?
- What behaviors do I engage in when I am afraid, uncomfortable or become triggered? (For example, do you mask in certain situations in order to avoid judgment?)
- What are my desires? What are my fears? (Hint, your fears can lead you to your desires!). I.E. If you are afraid of what people think of you when you sing, you may have a desire to sing!
- What makes me angry?
The more questions you can ask yourself, the more answers you will get, the more you will come to understand yourself. As you gain self-understanding, you will begin to see all the ways that you are not yourself (authentic) and the work to be done to become yourself! (I want to say in parentheses here that the goal of this exercise is not to tug you away from your family or your family’s belief system. The goal is simply to give you insight into why you believe what you believe and to differentiate between what you have adopted as a belief and what you are consciously CHOOSING to believe).
Once you’ve gained critical knowledge on the basics of self-discovery and understand things like beliefs, addictions, façade, behaviors, fears, influence, etc., you are ready to look at each of these and observe yourself from a non-judgmental stance. (A NON-JUDGMENTAL STANCE!) The goal of observation is simply to take note of all the ways we self-sabotage our own happiness. As you observe yourself, you may begin to see unconscious/auto-pilot behavior patterns that are tugging you away from the very goals you are trying to achieve. You may see conditioned beliefs that are standing in the way of achieving your goals. You may notice masking practices you’re engaging in with others in order to feel accepted, approved of or belong. Essentially, you will become aware of all the ways that we use various techniques to protect yourself from shame, judgment, fear and guilt! Each of these a-ha moments will bring you one step closer to becoming self-aware which will lead you closer to achieving the goals you’ve set for ourselves.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO EXPERIMENT WITH VARIOUS IDEAS, PRACTICES & BELIEFS?
The most important part of self-discovery is activation of intuition. In order to determine what is best for you and your life, you NEED your intuition. The experimentation phase of self-discovery is all about feeling your way to learn how to discern what feels good and what does not feel good. It is impossible to offer an exact playbook for self-discovery because everyone is different. But there are universal words like investigation, experimentation and finding direction that can help you understand what is happening along the way.
All the best-known teachers of the past talked about “emptying to get filled.” What they meant by this is once you empty out all that will not serve you—the beliefs, the conditioning, the adopted values, etc.—you make room for what will serve you—what YOU value, what YOU believe, what YOU need and desire! Before you can determine what ideas, practices and beliefs will serve you, you have to experiment with different ideas, practices and beliefs. During this stage, you will not be attaching yourself to anything, but simply acting as a scientist and trying things on for size. As you try things on for size, you will learn that in order to discover what is best for you, you must first discover what is NOT best for you! Experimentation does not have to be within any practice or belief system as well (for me, I experimented first with beliefs and practices and second with my own muse. Once I engaged with enough beliefs and practices, I concluded that what was best for me could not be found within any belief system; that I needed to kind of create an amalgamation).
Experimenting is anything that you engage in that activates your internal feeling censors and guides you toward your intuition! There is no right or wrong answer to the experimentation phase of self-discovery, the goal is simply to explore ideas outside of what your auto-pilot self until you become acquainted with and connected with your intuition! In truth, the experimentation phase is more about awakening your spirit and soul to itself than anything else. Once you are connected to yourself, you’ll KNOW what to do next! And then you will be able to take the rest of the journey on your own!!
FINDING DIRECTION
Absent direction, motivation and inspiration can be challenging. Direction gives us focus, purpose and hope. Direction reminds us why we are doing the things we are doing every day. For some of us, direction might be saving to build our dream home while for others of us it might be following a leader. When we have direction we have a plan and we have faith in that plan. We trust that if we do the things charted in that plan that we will achieve the goals we’ve set for ourselves. The direction that self-discovery offers is the goal of becoming your authentic self. It is a healing journey that leads you home to yourself. It clears away all the confusion about playing guesswork in life. Once you discover yourself, you will know who you are, where you are going and how you are going to get there.
THE JOURNEY TO YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF
Rare is it to meet someone who is entirely authentic. Masking can be performed so well that only a very trained eye can pick up on the subtleties of masking. It takes a great deal of courage and strength of character to choose authenticity. When someone is authentic, they cannot be influenced. They are entirely connected with their emotions, feelings, thoughts, beliefs, values, aspirations, goals, objectives, desires, needs, and purpose and trust their own intuition. Authentic people would rather be alone than have to pretend or suppress themselves to be with people. Authentic people have stellar personal power and either inspire everyone around them or trigger everyone around them. For the unconscious/auto-piloting person, an authentic person will trigger them because what the unconscious person wants most is not to be discovered. For those desirous of stepping into their own authentic self, they will feel inspired by the authentic person and gravitate toward them desirous to learn everything the authentic person is willing to teach them!
With self-discovery comes the freedom to choose what is best for you and your life’s direction. With authenticity comes the power to live your life unapologetically. Self-discovery is basically cracking open the egg of light that is you, peeking inside to discover everything about yourself including discovering your inner-child, your inner-child’s needs, your own personal power and then connecting with your inner-child, helping that child heal and finally integrating all the parts of yourself until you are the whole person you were born to be! It’s a journey that requires a lot of courage and faith, but it is truly a life-changing experience that will lead you on a path to realizing every dream you have for yourself!
Much Love!
Self Discoverly 